Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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