He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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