YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
