we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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