so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
