bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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