i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
