will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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