Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
