TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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