All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
