Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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