Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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