And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
