OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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