Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize