Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
