wat bout pragnant strippers??
he wants to bone in the snuggie
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
