She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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