The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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