I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize