oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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