OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
