operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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