Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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