you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize