return my video game
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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