They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
