totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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