@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
