i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
