i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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