A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
