1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
