Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
