My first STD was from a foam party
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
