Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
