so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
