why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
