Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
