it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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