I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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