party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
