Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
