He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
