I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
