Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I will be naked everywhere
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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