Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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