the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
