Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
