I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
