Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
