grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
