I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
