he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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