please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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