Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
