so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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