dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
