U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
