They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
