I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
