I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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