So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
