His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
