She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
