i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
