i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
not ubering you a puppy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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