Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
