Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
where am i from again
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
