margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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