It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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