Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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