i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
